If only...

Releasing Your Regrets
by Rick Warren

"A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance." Prov 28:13 (LB)

How often do you play the "If only" game? If only I …
- had it to do over
- had listened sooner
- could erase the past
- could forgive myself.

Because no one is perfect - we all have regrets. We've made bad choices, said foolish things, wasted time, and hurt ourselves and others.

How do you release your regrets?

Here are some strategies that don't work:

WE BURY THEM - Burying the past doesn't work. Like creatures from a horror movie, unresolved regrets come back to haunt us over and over. Minimizing ("It wasn't a big deal"), rationalizing ("Everyone does it"), and compromising (lowering your standards) are ways we try to bury our regrets.

WE BLAME OTHERS - This tactic is as old as Adam and Eve. When Adam sinned, he took it like a man - he blamed his wife! We use blame to balance out our guilt.

WE BEAT OURSELVES - We try to pay for our guilt unconsciously through illness, depression, setting ourselves up for failure, and other forms of self-punishment. The problems with beating yourself is this: your conscience never knows when to stop! Many spend their entire lives in self-condemnation.

WHAT DOES GOD WANT ME TO DO WITH MY REGRETS?

1. Admit my guilt. Own up to it. Don't make excuses. "A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance." Prov 28:13 (LB)

2. Accept Christ's forgiveness. He's waiting to clean your slate. Ask him to clear your conscience. "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Rom 8:1

3. Forgive yourself and focus on the future. "The Lord says, 'Do not cling to the events or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do." Isa. 43:18-19

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