Please pray for me.

Tomorrow is the start of our Congress--my big day! Pray that everything goes well. Thank you for all the support.

curly len?!

yup, i did it. went to the parlor last saturday and curled my hair. Xp

the congress is just a few days ahead...

time out

Yesterday, I almost quit my job. I was so pissed off by the way things are going and almost decided to quit. I’m glad to have reminded my self that decisions made while on the peak of strong emotions are usually irrational. Huh! I almost gave in!

Guess I have some room here to discuss. Well, it all boils down to the tiresome preparation for the Congress. I’ve been doing everything for the last how many months and somehow it has taken a great deal of my life. It was tough, but still manageable. As the big day approaches, the more sedulous the tasks have become. Tired. Stressed. Frustrated. Depressed. That’s been me lately.

The other day, I was preparing everything needed for the orientation of our Convenors and facilitators for the Congress workshop. I had very little time to complete them but still I finished. I’ve been coming early to and leaving late from work to get all things done. And yesterday, I was there very early to check on everything and finish whatever’s left to do. To my surprise, while I was working on a document they handed to me the very last minute, my boss noticed that the margin of the other materials was too small to be clipped. OMG, The MARGIN! Just the margin which no one will ever pay attention to. I felt so frustrated hearing that as my concern was the content of the material and the completeness of all the documents. The margin really didn’t matter to her before but for whatever was with her that time, she clamored about the margin. She did not even warn me that we have to clip them together in the first place. That was too much for me. Felt it was so unfair. As if my effort and hard work was gone to waste just because of wrong margin. If I had not controlled myself; I could have resigned that instant.

But God is good. After lunch, everything was well again. Goodness. And I was able to wear that smile. Honestly, I almost forgot all about the margin until I got home.

You may think that I should really find another job. I thought about it even before this Congress thing came up and realized that I really like being part of the Center, being a researcher, a part of the university, helping my country in our modest way. It’s tiring and requires a lot of effort, but somehow I love it. Perhaps what’s causing me this stress is the bulk of work and the pressure that comes with it, or at times, my colleagues, but I shouldn’t concentrate my eyes on the hurdles. A friend told me that what matters most is if it satisfies what you really want. There’s a part of me that agrees. I believe I should really agree. I just have to keep my self compose until this project is over and I know things will be alright soon. Just a few days left. I hope you add me in your prayers, too. Thanks.

My medicine

This morning, I have requested a friend to pray for me as I'm having troubles with my system. He sent me a few prescription from the Our Doctor. I find it very effective. You may want to try them. Here's the prescription:

Proverbs 4:22
Jeremiah 17:14
Psalms 103: 1-5
Isaiah 53:4-5
1 Peter 2:24
Isaiah 40:30-31
Proverbs 18:21.

God bless!

Comfort.

I dreamt of my mother last night. It was so clear, I thought it was real. We were together eating banana. She ate hers without peeling it; happily taking a mouthful in every bite. I enjoyed watching her eat and did the same with mine. Together, we ate happily and contented.

I saw her eyes looking straight at me. I felt so much comfort in them. It was a long time since I had such carefree feeling; right there beside her, I didn’t mind the world around us. We were not talking; just eating side by side. I was plainly happy eating my banana the weird way with my mom.

Then I woke up. I was disappointed to find myself in our room until it dawned to me that it was just a dream. I wanted to go back to dreaming; to be with my mother again. To feel so much care and comfort. To feel satisfied and content.

I am so depressed lately. Tired at work, busy with all things, and pressured at home. The last time I was in the pit of deep loneliness I also dreamt of my mom. I guess subconsciously, my brain is reciprocating my need—comfort. Honestly, it makes me cry thinking about this silly dream.

The dream was really weird besides eating the banana with its skin. First, my mom’s no longer around. It’s been more than four and a half years since she passed away. Still, there’s never a day I did not think of her. Second, I don’t eat banana. It makes my stomach sick. I guess what the dream is telling me is that even in the weirdest situation, I can still find comfort.

I read the Lord’s word today and found a verse in Psalms, “I will be with you until your hair turns gray…” Thank you Lord. I know He made me dream of my mom to give a timeout from all the stress of the world. And His promise never fails. The Lord is with me.

Prayer Request

As I've said, I'm really busy right now --at work, in church, and even at home. Please pray for me. I'm having a hard time breathing lately--like catching my breath all the time. There's something heavy in my chest. I guess it's mainly my being busy and tired; I know things will be a lot better after the Congress. I jut need enough strength to finish all these. Thanks!

Highlights!*

* hmm, sounds familiar… a Highlight refers to a written document of what went on in a particular event. I make one all the time.

Skipped a lot of blogging lately… so many things going on; busy-ness took over.

• Sept 25 – farewell tribute to my officemate, Chang. She left for Bangladesh on Sept 27.
• Sept 26 – another busy day at the office.
• Sept 27 – GCM meeting at De La Salle. Seen Bro. Roly for the first time. Meeting went well. I accidentally hurt myself with a sharp pencil—Ouch! (wound is almost healed).
• Sept 28 – the Typhoon Milenyo came. All classes and offices were suspended. It rocked the entire place. Roofs were blown like feathers in the air. Trees were uprooted. The wind was terrifying.
• Sept 29 – No power everywhere. Offices are still suspended. The damage was terrible.
• Sept 29 – All workers meeting at Turn to Jesus Mojon. Handled the Orientation of Ushering Ministry volunteers with Red. A lot can not make it due to conflict sched and the typhoon. Had 32 willing ushers-to-be. Hope to multiply come training proper. Actual training begins on Oct 24.
• Sept 30 – men-at-church-at-work. the typhoon blew a portion of the church roof. Repairs are being done.
• Oct 1 – first Sunday. Communion. Meeting at the MYF office. Still no power in Manila.
• Oct. 2 – went off to work. rode a bus—no fx coming; I’ll be late! Back to work mode. Had good lunch with my friends. (girl talk: red flag raised; I take that as a blessing.)
• Oct. 3 – number of confirmed participants to Congress increasing. Praise God! (girl talk: found Indonesia on my blanket and an island on my bed sheet. Poor Len)

Yesterday, I was so upset to find out that I missed a friend's birthday. Really sorry. Glad He had a great one.